i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
Randomize
