STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
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