the new term for farting is butt boxing.
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
Randomize
