Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
I want her autograph on my taint
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
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