You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
Randomize
