Hey man sorry I got all grabby
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
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