you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
