I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
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