Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
New invention idea: vibrating tampons
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
