When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
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