the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
