Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
Randomize
