Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
