Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize
