Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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