He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
Randomize
