If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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