you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
Randomize
