Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Randomize
