i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
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