if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Randomize
