There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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