Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
Randomize
