if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
