On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
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