In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
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