Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
