If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
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