Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
