I would go down on you faster than GM stock
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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