We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
