What did we do last night that was yellow?
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
I am mentally ready for anal.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
