He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Randomize
