I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
Randomize
