i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
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