2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
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