Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
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