no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
Randomize