Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
