Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Randomize
