Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
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