A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
