i was rollin on her like bob the builder
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
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