your room smells of hookers.
And success
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
