Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
Watching her eat just hurts me
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
