ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
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