At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
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