I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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