At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
We were destined to go to rehab together
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
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