I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Randomize
