I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
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