Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Randomize
