he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
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