I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
