I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
