if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize
